Overdue post

I finished chemo January 28th.  Another cancer date that I'll probably remember, along with diagnosis, mastectomy, and first chemo session.  It's been a week, so I don't feel any different than I have been a week after any other session, but I am happy that that stage is done.  Only five weeks or so to go until my hair starts growing back.  Somehow I imagined it would be faster than that, and I keep looking in the mirror for signs of growth, but nothing yet.  My husband's parents are visiting in a month, and I feel a little strange that they'll be here when I'm bald.  Somehow, the e-mail updates with pictures are different.

The hot flashes I've been getting from chemopause (a phrase I learned on the breast cancer boards...basically when chemo sends your body into early menopause) are getting a little worse.  I'm waking up several times a night and notice that I'm covered in sweat.   Ugh.

On a more positive, still sweat-related note, I've been going to the gym fairly regularly while I'm home, and just bought a pair of ridiculously expensive running shoes:

I figured that post-chemo I want to be more serious about getting healthy, and if a pricey pair of shoes will help me do it, then that works!  I'm starting the Couch to 5k program again and have been using the elliptical trainer other days.  I'm also doing some light weights a couple times a week.  I was self-conscious at first about going to the gym while wearing one of my headwraps, but now I don't worry about it, and even take it off when I get too hot. 

I applied for leave sharing hours at work and got them, so I've been a lot less stressed about financial issues.  I didn't get short-term disability since I came back to work three weeks after the mastectomy and went back between chemo treatments.  At least now I know how to plan my time off for reconstruction.  The woman who chairs the leave donation committee said I'd be eligible to request hours again if I needed them, so it's really nice not to have to worry again.

Overall, I'm feeling ok.  I'm glad chemo is finished, but it's intimidating to still have reconstruction and years of hormone therapy ahead.  I'm wondering when I'll start to feel "normal" again...I've always considered myself pretty healthy, and in some ways, I still do.  Mentally, cancer's been my #1 concern for months now, but I still consider it an aberration.  As in, "I'm pretty healthy, except for this whole cancer thing."  I know that it's a defining part of my life, but I'm still alive so far and want to get back to it!